Saturday, June 23, 2007

Writing on Week Thirteen

I am working on relieving tension in my life because, as a writer, I find that my emotions often get in the way of reality. There is often a struggle to let go of the ego, that universe in the self that shields us from the conflict of a different reality happening outside the body and, essentially, the mind. As writers, we can use this to our advantage, to create worlds. Still, I tend to stay in that world and lose sight of the daily grind that, at times, gets in the way. Also, my ego will get in the way of the writing process. I find it difficult to follow my own rule to keep writing and let it happen. I have constructed projects in my mind, written on long-term 'to-do lists' that will keep me motivated and creating for a long time; however, this will to sit down and start sometimes goes sideways. I journal before I sit down to work.
I recently had a discussion with my yoga instructor about consciously slowing down and being more aware of the mind's internal and external realities. I tend to internalize everything and not look more closely at what that external influence may actually be, and whether it has much at all to do with me. The world is an overwhelming place - is the trick to accept it all, or try to harness it into some manageable, bite-sized way?
This is not an attempt to sort out the question of reality. We have our own realities and one reality can be complete imagination - in writing, and in life. The question is how to stay firm to my own reality without allowing the realities of others to manipulate my perceptions.
I move deeper into my postures and, when the mind chatter happens, which is a running dialogue, I try to channel it into some creative energy. The mind chatter goes onto the page and off my shoulders.

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